Wandering mind

My last couple of days in Sweden. I am spending my time alone by reading, doing nothing and pondering. I try to comprehend my life and my interacting with people. Why is it so easy with some and so painful with others? Is it social status, interests, sharing of common ideas or just a physical attraction that makes us close? There is no crystal boll. Maybe it is all together or maybe not. I try to understand myself and my needs. It is easier to say than to do. My thoughts are blurry and obscure; they are unidentifiable. By this time, I should have known my life criteria. And I thought, I did, but the life has changed and so my expectations. All of sudden, I feel that there is something more life can offer: something untouchable, gentle and fragile, but extreme bright and beautiful. What is that? I prize my peaceful mind and the feeling of tranquility. So sad that they are not my regular friends. I am like a nomadic sail boat which is seeking serenity in a storm.